Last year at the end of the summer I would have told you to ALWAYS keeps the old and push away the new, because change is terrifying. That is because I was moving from a middle school with about 300 kids total ,in a small town where everyone knew everything, to a huge high school.
It was terrifying, I spent the summer of 2016 counting down the days till school and dreading every moment that brought me closer to the new school year. Every time someone would mention school, I would freak out and think about all the reasons I should be scared of going to this new school. I remember being scared of getting lost and not making any new friends and just being embarrassed in general.
That summer will probably be the worst summer of my life because of how stressed I was. My friends tried to calm my nerves but I always just told myself that they are smarter and funnier than me so they have nothing to worry about. In reality they all were worried and scared just like me and I was no different from them.
The first day of school came quickly. I didn’t sleep the whole night before orientation. As a 15 year old girl I made my mom walk me to the bus stop on my first day of highschool, I know what you’re thinking;I am very mature I know. For some reason when I got to school I was no longer nervous, I had my friends by my side and I felt like I had just gotten through the worst part. I had overcome this huge hurdle I had been dreading all summer. When I got home that day I was proud of myself and I couldn’t help but tell myself that I had done what I thought was impossible. I felt like I could have done anything!
For as long as I can remember I have been scared of change. As a child I never understood why things had to change, like going to different schools or moving into a new house, none of it made sense to me. I always thought that if something is already good, why change it? I loved middle school and I never thought anything could be as amazing as those past 3 years. I always thought that it was the new school that scared me, but what really scared me was the idea of change that morphed into this big ugly monster with big scary teeth and claws in my head. But I was wrong, about everything.
This year I am a sophomore in highschool, the same high school I never thought I’d go to and the same high school I believed wasn’t meant for me. I couldn’t have been more wrong, I love my school so much, It has made me a better, smarter, and stronger individual. I have made more friends than I could have ever wished to. This school has changed my life and my ideas on change.
That summer I became so focused on all the preconceived ideas I had about change and how awful change can be. I was so focused on the negative, I didn’t even take time to think about why or how this could be good for me. If only I had opened my eyes to the new direction I was about to go in, maybe I would have had a small amount of hope to make it more bearable. I was too busy fighting to keep the old and I didn’t even try to embrace the new.
New things are never as bad as they seem. The more time spent wishing and hoping to go back in time to when things were normal and routine, is time that should be spent embracing the positives of change and celebrating the new. Whether it’s a new school or new job, there will always be at least one good thing to come from that change, you just might have to look for it.
-Teen Identity Graduate